Tag: respect

More than mere words…part two

More than mere words…part two

There is a point within the greaving process where one earns the right to speak life into a situation. However, even with that permission, there are a few do’s and don’ts to the process you should know about. Now before we enter the list of do’s and don’ts let me also say that there are exceptions, here are a few of them; 1, You are a trained professional and they have come to you seeking help. 2, You are a trusted close friend whom they have confided in and they have specifically asked you for your thoughts. 3, They have asked you for your thoughts. 4, They have come to you asking you for advice. 5, They sought you out and asked you for your input. 6, Are you catching the theme? Rule number 1, do not cross the greaving line if you haven’t been asked or given an opening through conversation.

Now for our do’s when speaking life into a greaving heart. First, be absolutely certain they are ready to receive whatever you are about to say if you aren’t absolutely certain, hold your tongue. If all the lights are green proceed with caution, be gentle, remain sympathetic and empathetic. Listen more than you speak. It is ok to use some Scripture, here is a good one, Deuteronomy 31:8; “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Use real life, personal stories, they do not have to be yours just besure you have permission to share or change the names and places. Be optimistic but do not make promises or guarantees, with the exception of Jesus not abandoning them. Pray with and for them, at the moment.

Here are the don’ts. This list can really be a long one but i am going to try to keep it simple. Don’t overuse Scripture, i know you are going to want too and you are going to justify it in your mind…don’t do it.  Some is good, but too much is a bad thing. Encourage them to read the Word, and pray about it but just don’t quote Scripture. If they wanted a preacher they’d go to the pastor, (you could encourage them to talk to a pastor).  Don’t say, “I will pray for you.” (As written up in the do’s, pray for them on the spot, let them hear you!) DO NOT be like these guys, Jobs friends, because in the end, God said this to them, “I am angry with you [Eliphaz] and your two friends because you have not spoken the truth about me.” Job 42:7. Do not speak in cliche’s because most of them although said to be biblical are NOT!

When i have gone through difficult times i have needed empathy first, encouragement second and advice last. Besides, advice, given without request only sounds degrading. You may not use the words but i guarantee it sounds like this, “YOU SHOULD HAVE…” Capped with, “YOU IDIOT!” There may come a time for those words but i assure you, it won’t be early on and it better be coming from my best friend. Being there for someone going through tragedy is hard but it can be a blessing as well, as you show empathy, and encouragement, you will gain wisdom, and i can promise you that!

You are Loved,

cj

 

The Sheep and the Goats

The Sheep and the Goats

We are living in an increasingly partisan culture. We hear the word tribe often to clarify partisanship, which simply is, groupings. It has always been around for sure. We read about it throughout Scripture. However, it has become hyper-partisan. Everything is a group or sub-group with no limitations on how far one can take it and no one needs your permission to put you in that group. “You like chocolate ice cream so therefore you cannot possibly like vanilla too!” It has been a political paradigm for the most part when we would discuss partisanship, up-until-recently, however, the line is now blurred.

First, i will agree that there are definitely two groups, in fact, Jesus taught on these two groups, He called them the “sheep” and the “goats”. That is pretty much where the groups start and finish, however. Within those two groups are people, with various ideas, understandings, ways of life, social status, economic structure, intelligence and the list goes on…and among the goats, the list is even longer.

Now, Jesus, defined these two groups this way, sheep, equals saved, goats, equal not saved. It is worth noting here that these two groups are separated at the judgment and although there are good reasons to watch our associations it should never be a practice to segregate ourselves. “But how can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them?” Romans 10:14.

Let’s talk sheep. Sheep don’t always get along. Paul split ways with Barnabas because they couldn’t agree on a philosophy of ministry, not a philosophy of salvation to which there was no disagreement. It’s ok. However, that is the exception, not the rule. “44 And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common;45 and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. 46 Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart” Acts 2:44-46. 

Jesus said, “Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and don’t do as I say?” Luke 6:46. He also said, “If you love Me, obey my commandments.” John 14:15. He clarified those commandments this way, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40.

For me, here is what it boils down to, Love; Unconditional love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith. (1 Timothy 1:5). We love one another, we sacrifice for one another, we do for one another and we pray for one another…including GOATS! We live the message of Christ out in our love for one another, we tell others about this love by living it out in our actions so that when we say it with our mouths it has a deeper meaning. In the end when Jesus does separate us, the sheep and the goats, we can stand confidently that we did, we lived, and we loved the best we could.

the divided states of america

the divided states of america

i am about to wade into deep waters. i love The United States of America, even in its divided state. We still live in a country that allows anyone to accomplish anything they set their mind to…allbeit some, unfortunately, need to work harder than others based on factors that shouldn’t be, yet are. For the sake of not being ambiguous, race, sex, social class etc. are some of these determining factors that increase or decrease one’s ability to achieve their dreams with some work or tons of work, relatively speaking.

Let me first express the ideal. This ideal is based on Scripture. It is not ambiguous, it is straightforward, it hides nothing, there are no muddy waters, no questions, it is simply truth from God’s Word. This message is to the Church, it is available to anyone, yet directed to the Body of Christ. Are you ready?

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are His heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.” (Galatians 3:26-29)

“Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” (Colossians 3:10-15)

Life isn’t perfect, in fact, there are injustices every day! Life is, unfair. There are mean people, they will spitefully use you, treat you poorly, call you all sorts of names, steal from you and gossip about you. This does not excuse it, it just explains it. People suck. We are not called to live like that, we, who name Jesus as our Lord, are to act the opposite. Sadly we often forget to, hence this gentle reminder. Even those that treat us as stated above are to be prayed for, forgiven, shown grace, given from our abundance…the Word is not ambiguous, leaves no doubt, gives no out.

How you respond to being offended matters! How you respond to folks you do not agree with matters! How you respond to someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated matters! What we do as Christians matters, and because it matters we need to run everything we do through the filter of the cross. Love the unlovable, pray for those that spitefully use us and forgive everyone, quickly! Love covers a multitude of sins. Love uncompromised, all believers should love from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith.

You are Loved,

cj

The Adventure of a Lifetime!

The Adventure of a Lifetime!

Once when i was eight years old, i went exploring a construction site. A soon to be apartment building made for a great playground in the eyes of my friends and i. Framed in staircases, partially framed walls, and planks across open spaces in the floor made for a grand adventure. Albeit, a dangerous and illegal one. Our mission, to avoid the one lone security guard patrolling the site which included several separate buildings.

Many spend most of their lives doing what my friends and i did at eight. They feel as if they are living a life of adventure because the adrenaline is pumping through their veins. What they don’t realize, often until it’s too late, is they are in constant peril. The danger of a wrong step could lead to severe injury or even death and of course, there is the constant looking over your shoulder in fear of getting caught.

The world would have you think that being a Christian is boring. That life in Christ is the opposite of adventure. However, that couldn’t be any further from the truth. There are countries where being a Christian is illegal, and you could be thrown in prison or killed. Although we live in a relatively safe environment to be a Christian, there is still some great adventure to be had! Just take a look at some of these stories…

  • Rachel from the Axiom has a great story of when she was just starting to get back into the church when she had a confrontation with a girl she had fought in the past. This girl wanted a “rematch” however, Rachel in her now living for Jesus refused to fight. Several years later the girl saw her in church and gave her a big hug, “That day changed my life!” she said.
  • Some local Missionaries the LaGatta’s, were in El Salvador when they were kidnapped at gunpoint, driven to the desert and left. They survived with not only a great story of faith but a memory of great adventure.
  • Then there is this: 9 Year Old Willie Myrick <<< Click the link it’s awesome!
These remind me of some stories found in the greatest adventure story ever written…
  • Acts 9:23-25 tells the part of the story (read below) of Saul/Paul’s escape after many were seeking to kill him.  “After this had gone on quite a long time, some Jews conspired to kill him, but Saul got wind of it. They were watching the city gates around the clock so they could kill him. Then one night the disciples engineered his escape by lowering him over the wall in a basket.”
  • Acts 16:25-26 a story about an earthquake and a none prison break that lead to the jailer coming to know Jesus with his whole family. “Along about midnight, Paul and Silas were at prayer and singing a robust hymn to God. The other prisoners couldn’t believe their ears. Then, without warning, a huge earthquake! The jailhouse tottered, every door flew open, all the prisoners were loose.”
  • John 11:1-44 shares the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. It’s insane! Here is part of it:”Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.

    Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.”

If you have accepted Jesus and consider yourself a follower of His, a disciple, rest assured…you are on the adventure of a lifetime!

You are LOVED,
cj

You must be stupid or something!

You must be stupid or something!

“It seems as if we have come to a point of disagreement.” “It doesn’t appear as though we will ever see eye to eye on this issue.” “Can we just agree to disagree?” “It may seem arbitrary to you but to me it is a huge concern!” “Why can’t you see what I see? Why are you so ignorant!?” “You must be stupid or something!” “You have no clue how the world works do you?”

Through life, both cultural life and individual life, we have and continue to evolve, learn, grow; some would say the opposite is true however, that we are actually unraveling socially and culturally. One thing is certain, our ability to have differing opinions and our further ability to discuss those differences considerately and compassionately have eroded to epic lows. Where at one time one might say, “It seems as if we have come to a point of disagreement.” We now say, “You must be stupid or something!”

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you thought to yourself, “Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall.” i know i have thought, maybe even said that often. Here’s the problem, by me thinking or saying that i have put the assumption on the other person that i am superior to them or more intelligent than they…i have devalued their opinion and along with it any knowledge they may have on the subject. i have now limited my ability to learn from them or even for them to learn from me.

We live in a culture gone made with a lack of humility. Everyone has become a know-it-all in every subject. Regardless of the facts. As since everyone knows everything or we know someone who knows everything we don’t research, we don’t ask questions, we don’t seek for truth because we don’t know what we don’t know unless we first seek.

This is why i love the interaction between Jesus and the woman at the well. (READ FULL PASSAGE HERE) Here is Jesus, who surely did know everything, have a conversation with a woman in a manner that inspired and did not condemn. In the end the woman heads back into town to tell others about Jesus. We are called to be like that. To live and love as Jesus. To inspire others with the truth of the Gospel in hopes that they too will react as this woman did, going and telling others.

“But how can people call for help if they don’t know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven’t heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it?” (Romans 10)

you are LOVED,
cj

Discipline & Self-Respect

Discipline & Self-Respect

As we look at putting on Christ we have looked at this passage in Colossians 3:12; “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline.” We have looked deeply into each of these, most recently “Discipline” on Tuesday Night. Here are a few more thoughts for you to ponder beyond what we talked about and leading into our next Tuesday gathering.

One can not receive discipline without first having respect for someone. For example, the discipline or training i give my boys is only received based on their level of respect for me. The less they respect me, the less they will receive from me in way of discipline or training. The same is true for self-discipline, which is really what is being talked about here in Colossians. If one does not respect themselves than it will naturally be more difficult when it comes to self-discipline. It goes to humility over self-loathing. We are called to be humble and sometimes we take that too far and we consider ourselves nothing. Let me assure you, you are something! Something so great that God thought you worth dying for.

If Jesus, in His great Love, sees you as worthy of His life…you are worth respecting. Begin to walk in that love, when life comes at you and gets you down remind yourself, YOU ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED A CHILD OF THE KING, WORTH DYING FOR! Hold your head up, walk with confidence in who you are in Christ and you will be more open to receiving self-discipline and begin to live in and cultivate a heart of thankfulness which will lead to a deeper respect for what Jesus truly did for you, us on the cross…which will allow us, you, me, individually and collectively, to receive the discipline of the Lord leading to walking in true LOVE.

Happy Valentines Day…

you are LOVED,
cj